Confession: I screw up a lot. I think I’ve taken care of something and I actually haven’t. My confidence that I have a plan is thwarted by a lack of research. I say regrettable things to people I love or respect and replay the scene in my head on repeat for years.
Giving myself grace in the wake of these events is difficult.
We all make mistakes. Our friends and colleagues have messed up in myriad ways over the years and we can pretty much always forgive them or see why it’s not really so bad.
Our own mistakes, however, seem to loom large in our memories.
My plea to you is this: find a way to give yourself some grace and move on without the weight of your foibles from the past dragging you down.
Here are some strategies to help you out.
Start writing down everything from that is weighing on you mentally. What did you want to accomplish that you didn’t? How did events play out differently than you imagined? Who do you feel you let down?
Whatever it is, name it clearly. Just put it out there and look at it. Say it out loud. Take full ownership of it.
I believe that we struggle to give ourselves grace for the mistakes we refuse to fully own.
Identify the Lessons
The good thing about screwing up or not accomplishing all of our goals is that we always learn from these situations, if we are open to it.
What did you learn from your mistakes? How are you a better leader because of how these situations played out? Who or what do you better understand in the aftermath?
Seek out the silver lining and express gratitude for the lessons.
I mean this in a very literal sense. Say the not-so-good thing that happened (or didn’t happen) out loud.
Take full ownership of how you contributed to the problem/outcome.
Thank the person or situation for everything you learned.
Declare that you forgive yourself and will take what you learned and use it next time.
Then actually let it go…for real. This is where genuine grace comes in.
Empower yourself with a mental device to help you out when the attachment to negative thinking around your mistakes comes up. Have a mantra you start saying like, “I forgive myself for my mistakes and I use what I learn to do better.” You can also have a mental image you call up and meditate on for 30 seconds.
One of the reasons we make mistakes is because we get so in the thick of responding to people and situations that we don’t pull back to reflect. We fail to consider unintended consequences or we get so burned out that we can’t hear ourselves speak.
Getting regular support from someone who understands the challenges of leadership can make all the difference. You need someone who can serve you equal doses of compassion and accountability. A person who can say, “I’m not so sure you’re telling yourself a true story right now” is an asset to your leadership.
That’s where I come in. Supporting leaders one on one and in group settings is what I’m all about. I’ve worked with many of my clients for several years now. They know I’ve got their back and they know I’m not going to let them shy away from growing as humans.
We do the work together with love. When leaders work with me, serious growth happens. Financial growth, organizational growth, spiritual growth…we make big shifts happen as a team!
Ready to shift your leadership from responding to visioning? Let’s talk! Book a free session with me here: